Just What Do You Mean "Family"?

Unless you've been living under a rock for the last 30 years, you know that the American family has undergone a lot of change, much of it painful. In many ways our society has become weaker due to this familial transformation. The family has become a heated topic, difficult to discuss because we no longer have a cultural consensus on what "family" even means. Therefore, I want my readers to know what I mean when I say family.

By "family" I mean the traditional family: mom, dad, and kids. I mean that because I have a conservative, Judeo-Christian worldview, even though I'm unchurched. I'm sure I've just turned off a lot of people, but try to be open minded. Yes, I believe in the traditional family, but that doesn't mean you can predict where I stand on every familial issue. Some of my views will probably surprise and/or anger conservatives as well as liberals. But I didn't start Home Fires to anger or offend anyone. I started it because I wanted to discuss my views on the family and express some of my concerns about the state of the family in modern America. If I offend anyone I apologize in advance.

To reiterate, I support the traditional family structure of mom, dad, and kids. I believe this structure is the best. Why? Because it's the family form outlined in the book of Genesis where it says, "For this cause[the cause of God making Man male and female], a man shall leave his father and mother and cleave unto his wife and the two shall become one flesh." This verse has been the foundation of Western civilization's understanding of marriage and the family for over a millenium. I believe that the farther we get from Genesis' familial plan the worse off our culture will become.

The above verse establishes what we call the nuclear family as the foundation of society. A man is to leave his parents, cleave to his wife, and begin the creation of a new family unit. I don't think this means that newly married couples must always live apart from their parents. Sometimes that just isn't feasible. It does mean, I think, that the new marriage must be respected by society as a nascent family unit independent of and equal to the family units bride and groom came from. From the new marriage a new family--mother, father, and children--emerges.

I believe that the verse in Genesis establishes marriage and the family as heterosexual institutions. A MAN is to cleave to his WIFE, not to his wife or male lover. Homosexual unions do not have the blessings of God and for centuries didn't have the blessings of the civil authoritites, either. Does this mean that gay people should be treated like dirt? Of course not. It just means that homosexual unions are outside the definition of family, just as incestuous and adulterous heterosexual unions are outside the definition of family. Having a societal consensus on what constitues a family is not a license to abuse anyone. Personally, I'd rather live next door to a nice gay couple than a straight adulterer or incest practitioner.

If you notice, I used the phrase "marriage and the family" in the paragraphs above. I did that on purpose. Just as I believe that the nuclear family is the foundation of society, so I believe that marriage is the foundation of the family, BUT DOES NOT CONSTITUTE A FAMILY BY ITSELF. A married couple is a married couple, not a family. The birth of children is what turns a marriage into a family. As I said, family means mother, father, AND children. Again, I know I've offended many people and again, I apologize. I just believe there IS an objective familial norm, given to us by God, that all people should acknowledge and strive to achieve. And what do I think of "alternative" families? Where do they fit into my view of life? Those are subjects for other posts. For now you know just what I mean when I say "family".