Have you seen those nanny shows on tv? You know the ones, Nanny 911 (which I think has been cancelled) and Super Nanny. I find them a hoot. Every time I watch them I can't believe that (supposedly) intelligent people let the whole country see that they're totally incompetent parents. I can't believe the amount of child spoiling going on in our society. There are parents out there who are total pushovers with their kids, parents who are even afraid of their own children. It's sickening.
Even before the nanny shows debuted there were plenty of baby whipped parents on tv. A few years ago there was a spate of "I'm Scared of my Child" episodes on Maury Povich's talk show. They were shocking. They showed kids as young as seven literally ruling the roost, hitting their parents to keep them in line, and throwing outrageous tantrums to get their way. But what was really disgusting were the parents, all mothers, crying helplessly and pleading with their monsters to behave. YOU DON'T ASK CHILDREN TO BEHAVE, YOU MAKE THEM!!! I didn't understand why those moms didn't get it. And, unfortunately, there was more.
Another Maury Povich show discussed obese children. There was a 4-year-old boy on the show who was extremely overweight, and guess what his parents said? If they tried to limit the amount of food the child ate he'd throw a tantrum, so they let the kid stuff himself. I was dumbfounded. Those parents were risking their son's health, even his life, because they didn't want to deal with his tantrums! And, sadly, they weren't the only parents doing that. The father of a 100lb 2-year-old let the girl eat a whole bag of hot dogs for lunch because, he claimed, he loved her too much to say no. So another child's health and life were put in jepodary by a "loving" parent. And the sad parade of parental incompetence didn't end with Maury's show.
On an old episode of the news show 20/20 a mother let her preschooler make a total ass of her. The family was in the car, ready to leave home for the day, when the child insisted she needed a stuffed animal on the ride to day care. The mom got out of the car, went back into the house, and got a toy. The child whined that it wasn't the right one, so the mom went and got another toy. That one wasn't right, either. The mom got yet another toy; it, too, wasn't right. Back and forth the mom went for what seemed like forever. It never occurred to this supposedly intelligent woman to tell her daughter "No!" and then let her scream all the way to day care. My mom, like most moms of her generation, would've had no problem doing that. But today's parents act like not giving in to their kids' every demand is a crime. How did we come to this?
I think the astronomical increase in two income families is largely to blame. Many working parents feel a great deal of guilt leaving their kids in substitute care. They try to assuage that guilt by spending "quality time" with their children, meaning the little darlings are horribly indulged so they'll like mom and dad. Showering their kids with everything they ask for, and even things they don't, helps working parents further justify their employment--they "have" to work so they can get so much for the kids. So parents indulge their children to assuage their guilt, thus making the kids ever more demanding, which leads to more indulging, this time to keep the kids quiet. It becomes a viscious cycle. But there's more.
Working parent guilt also makes many of today's parents uncomfortable about being the boss in their families. The collapse of traditional values in America has led to widespread disrespect for parental authority, even among parents. Many of them are indecently willing to give up huge chunks of their authority over their children in exchange for less responsibility for them. That responsibility is given to day care centers and schools. Combine this parental abdication with the obsession with children's self-esteem and "positive" discipline, and you have the perfect spoiled brat recipe.
How do we get out of this mess? Return to traditional values! As I stated above, parents of my mom's generation had no trouble telling their kids no. They and their children knew who was in charge (hint: it wasn't the kids). Today's parents need to get the same confidence in their authority. It's a vital prerequisite to teaching children character. If kids learn good character in childhood they'll be blessings to society as adults. It's the parents' job to make sure that happens. It's a daunting task. No wimps, weaklings, or wussies need apply!
Friday, January 25, 2008
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Let's Legalize Polygamy
I support polygamy. I probably wouldn't practice it myself but I believe it should be legal for anyone who wishes to marry that way. There, I said it. This may seem like a strange thing to advocate on a blog dedicated to family values, but here me out.
Most people, at least most Westerners, have a visceral dislike of polygamy. Through media reports and feminist propaganda we've come to regard polygamy as a singularly destructive force, fundamentally oppressive to women. While millions in our country can fathom two men or two women marrying, the thought of one man having two or more wives is just repugnant. It shouldn't be that way.
Polygamy has a long and venerable history. It has been practiced on all continents, among all races, and in all religions. We in the Judeo-Christian West mistakenly believe that the Bible condemns plural marriage but that is not so. Most of the Old Testament Patriarchs, prophets, and kings had multiple wives with no reprimand from God. The Mosaic Law regulates polygamy but does not forbid it. True, the New Testament commands Church leaders to have only one wife, but that prohibition doesn't necessarily apply to the whole Christian community. Indeed, the very fact that Church leaders are allowed only one wife suggests that polygamy was common among first century Christians. After all, why make the "one wife" rule if monogamy was the sole form of Christian marriage?
Devout Jews, Christians, and others who draw their morality from the Bible can support plural marriage in good conscience. It is not solely the practice of fundamentalist Mormons hell bent on suppressing women. Many non-Mormon women, as well as men, can and do enter into polgamy of their own free will, with the intention of creating loving marriages and strong families. Why should they be subjected to legal and/or moral sanction for a marriage that is heterosexual and of their own choosing?
Besides, our sanction against polygamy is profoundly hypocritical. We are a society that boasts of our sexual tolerance. We accept promiscuity as normal, even teaching it to our children. Pornography is a multibillion dollar business. Homosexuality is openly practiced. We tolerate a destructive "subpolygamy" where men procreate with multiple women with no legal or financial committment to them or their children. We wink at adultery and laugh at Hugh Hefner having three live in girlfriends, but God forbid he should have three wives!
God forbid that a man should bind himself to two or more women in a formal commitment, pledging to them love, loyalty, and support. God forbid that a man should be a father to their children, eagerly embracing the financial as well as emotional demands of that role. God forbid that two or more women should lovingly help each other in the mothering of their children. God forbid that a man and two or more women should commit themselves to creating a stable family unit where bedrock values such as love, responsibility, faith, and hard work are diligently taught to the next generation. God forbid!
It's time to rise above our knee jerk disdain for plural marriage. We must admit that we have to accept polygamy along with the other non-traditional families we're so quick to celebrate. It's all about diversity, right? And polygamy has at least the potential to give children a far more constructive upbringing than some of the other alternative families most of us have no problem with. In the end we can't have it both ways. If we reject polygamy then we must also stop watching The Girls Next Door. Honesty and common sense demand it.
Most people, at least most Westerners, have a visceral dislike of polygamy. Through media reports and feminist propaganda we've come to regard polygamy as a singularly destructive force, fundamentally oppressive to women. While millions in our country can fathom two men or two women marrying, the thought of one man having two or more wives is just repugnant. It shouldn't be that way.
Polygamy has a long and venerable history. It has been practiced on all continents, among all races, and in all religions. We in the Judeo-Christian West mistakenly believe that the Bible condemns plural marriage but that is not so. Most of the Old Testament Patriarchs, prophets, and kings had multiple wives with no reprimand from God. The Mosaic Law regulates polygamy but does not forbid it. True, the New Testament commands Church leaders to have only one wife, but that prohibition doesn't necessarily apply to the whole Christian community. Indeed, the very fact that Church leaders are allowed only one wife suggests that polygamy was common among first century Christians. After all, why make the "one wife" rule if monogamy was the sole form of Christian marriage?
Devout Jews, Christians, and others who draw their morality from the Bible can support plural marriage in good conscience. It is not solely the practice of fundamentalist Mormons hell bent on suppressing women. Many non-Mormon women, as well as men, can and do enter into polgamy of their own free will, with the intention of creating loving marriages and strong families. Why should they be subjected to legal and/or moral sanction for a marriage that is heterosexual and of their own choosing?
Besides, our sanction against polygamy is profoundly hypocritical. We are a society that boasts of our sexual tolerance. We accept promiscuity as normal, even teaching it to our children. Pornography is a multibillion dollar business. Homosexuality is openly practiced. We tolerate a destructive "subpolygamy" where men procreate with multiple women with no legal or financial committment to them or their children. We wink at adultery and laugh at Hugh Hefner having three live in girlfriends, but God forbid he should have three wives!
God forbid that a man should bind himself to two or more women in a formal commitment, pledging to them love, loyalty, and support. God forbid that a man should be a father to their children, eagerly embracing the financial as well as emotional demands of that role. God forbid that two or more women should lovingly help each other in the mothering of their children. God forbid that a man and two or more women should commit themselves to creating a stable family unit where bedrock values such as love, responsibility, faith, and hard work are diligently taught to the next generation. God forbid!
It's time to rise above our knee jerk disdain for plural marriage. We must admit that we have to accept polygamy along with the other non-traditional families we're so quick to celebrate. It's all about diversity, right? And polygamy has at least the potential to give children a far more constructive upbringing than some of the other alternative families most of us have no problem with. In the end we can't have it both ways. If we reject polygamy then we must also stop watching The Girls Next Door. Honesty and common sense demand it.
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
Rest In Peace, Little Angels
I just read a news article on the 'net that makes me so mad I could kill. A father--I use that term very loosely--drowned his four babies to get revenge on his wife. Lam Luong, an Alabama shrimper, threw his children off a bridge after having an argument with his wife, Ngoc Phan. The article didn't say what the couple argued about but did mention that Luong had a cocaine problem.
I don't know what to say about this. I'm so sick and tired of filthy, cowardly, and downright evil "parents" murdering their own defenseless kids to solve their problems or strike back at each other. These people are the lowest of the low. They should be executed in the slowest, most painful way possible. And I mean that literally. To those of you who are squeamish about capital punishment, think of the terror the Luong children felt as they plunged 80 feet to their deaths. They were given the death penalty by their own father; he deserves no mercy.
I can't imagine what Ngoc Phan is going through right now. In one cruel instant her entire family was wiped out by the one person duty bound to protect them. Never again will Ngoc plan a birthday party, hear her children laughing, or feel their good night hugs. From now on the only time she'll see her babies is in photographs. As I said, I can't imagine what she's going through. If I were her I'd be out of my mind.
Lam Luong confessed to his crime and is facing four counts of capital murder. At least he didn't take the coward's way out and commit suicide the way so many of these killers do. But that should get him no mercy from the law. He should be executed immediately so he can stand before the Judge who really matters. The One who said it would be better to be thrown in the ocean with a milstone tied around your neck than harm one of His little ones. Lam Luong faces a justice more terrible than man's.
But his children are in a better place. They will never again know family strife, or crying, or pain. Goodbye Ryan, 3; Hannah, 2; Lindsey, 1 and Danny, 4 months. Rest in peace, little angels. I will cry for you.
I don't know what to say about this. I'm so sick and tired of filthy, cowardly, and downright evil "parents" murdering their own defenseless kids to solve their problems or strike back at each other. These people are the lowest of the low. They should be executed in the slowest, most painful way possible. And I mean that literally. To those of you who are squeamish about capital punishment, think of the terror the Luong children felt as they plunged 80 feet to their deaths. They were given the death penalty by their own father; he deserves no mercy.
I can't imagine what Ngoc Phan is going through right now. In one cruel instant her entire family was wiped out by the one person duty bound to protect them. Never again will Ngoc plan a birthday party, hear her children laughing, or feel their good night hugs. From now on the only time she'll see her babies is in photographs. As I said, I can't imagine what she's going through. If I were her I'd be out of my mind.
Lam Luong confessed to his crime and is facing four counts of capital murder. At least he didn't take the coward's way out and commit suicide the way so many of these killers do. But that should get him no mercy from the law. He should be executed immediately so he can stand before the Judge who really matters. The One who said it would be better to be thrown in the ocean with a milstone tied around your neck than harm one of His little ones. Lam Luong faces a justice more terrible than man's.
But his children are in a better place. They will never again know family strife, or crying, or pain. Goodbye Ryan, 3; Hannah, 2; Lindsey, 1 and Danny, 4 months. Rest in peace, little angels. I will cry for you.
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