Well, Mothers' Day turned out great after all. In fact, it was wonderful. I'm so happy because I didn't expect the day to go well.
Mother's Day actually got off to a bad start Thursday, when the cable tv I'd ordered for Mom for her gift was installed. The cable guy hadn't even left the house when Mom started complaining that the tv's picture wasn't clear. Now, my Mom had been whining for months about how bad the picture quality was on the tv in her bedroom. In fact, she could only get one channel and it was full of lines and snow. Instead of being grateful that she now had multiple line and snow free channels to choose from, she chose to find something wrong. I was hurt and pissed. I felt like cussing my Mom out and then ripping the cable from the wall and tossing it and the tv out the window. I didn't do that, of course. But I sure felt like it.
How could Mom be so ungrateful? That was the question I tearfully posed to my sister when I talked to her on Saturday. Thank God for big sisters! Sis told me not to worry. She said she'd talk to Mom and tell her that if she was that unhappy with cable she would have it taken out. She'd call Mom's bluff which would almost certainly shut her up. I felt better and actually started looking forward to Sunday. I'm glad I did.
When Mother's Day arrived I was in a good mood and it only got better. The weather was GORGEOUS. Mom loved the card I gave her. Sis came over and we took Mom to a place called Weston Gardens. We all had fun looking at the different plants, flowers, and sculptures there. There was also live harp music and lots of different types of herbal teas to try. All mothers got to get a free plant. Mom chose a begonia. We really had a great time and I can't wait to go back.
After the trip to Weston Gardens Mom, my uncle, and I went to the cemetary to put flowers on the graves of my grandparents, uncle, and Dad. I hadn't planned on going but I decided to go so I could spend time with my uncle. Mom had chosen some really pretty flowers for the graves and she arranged them quite well. Personally, I've moved past the need to visit my loved ones' graves and worry about how they look, but that's still important to Mom and it was sweet to see her taking such care to make the flowers look just right. When she was finished the graves looked great and I was happy I'd gone to the cemetary with Mom and Uncle.
Finally, Mom and I went out to eat at her favorite restaurant. We both enjoyed our meal and came home quite satisfied. Later, when Mom was in bed, she told me that she had enjoyed me on all the outings we'd had. I was really touched, and a little surprised, and I told Mom I had enjoyed her, too. And that was the truth.
Oh, and the cable tv? Sis did what she'd told me she would do. She called Mom's bluff and suddenly the picture was fine. Like I said, thank God for big sisters. And thank God for a truly happy Mother's Day.
Sunday, May 11, 2008
Thursday, May 1, 2008
To Spank Or Not To Spank
Well, I guess it's time to bring up THAT issue.
While surging blogs on BlogExplosion several months ago I came across an anti-spanking blog. I briefly perused the site and was going to leave a comment when I saw that comments had been disabled by the author due to unpleasant remarks left by spanker who "tend to be an angry lot". I lost all interest in the blog right then and there. To accuse adults who spank children of being somehow abnormally angry is the kind of self-righteousness that I often see in anti-spankers.
As you've probably guessed I'm pro-spanking, i.e. I believe that parents who want to spank their children should be allowed to withtout judgement and definitely withou interfernce from the state. I even believe that day care workers should be allowed to spank children with parental permission. I know I just ticked off half the universe with that opinion. People, especially the anti-spankers, can get really emotional on this issue. So let me explain why I believe spanking is ok.
The main reason I'm pro-spanking is because I was spanked as a child and I turned out alright. No, I don't think that everything that happens to someone in childhood should be mindlessly accepted and repeated. I certainly believe in subjecting one's upbringing to a critical review. However, I was spanked as a child and I'm ok. As hard as it may be for the anti-spankers to believe I'm not a child abuser, domestic abuser, violent criminal or depressed psychotic in spite of the fact that my mother whipped my tush when I needed it. The idea that spanking teaches violence is one of the anti-spankers' favorite arguments against physical punishment but I've never seen that connection in real life.
Sure, there are murderers and other violent criminals who were spanked as kids but there are also countless hardworking, law-abiding, and decent people who are loving spouses and parents who were also spanked as kids. Somehow their existence doesn't register on the anti-spankers' radar screens. Let's be honest here. It takes a combination of many different influences to make someone an habitually violent person. To say that spanking is the decisive factor is a little too pat for me.
Part of the problem is that anti-spanking activists tend to conflate spanking with abuse. The blog mentioned above claimed it was dedicated to protecting children from "physical assault". That's a loaded statement. The term "assault" conjures up dire images in the minds of most people. The effort to equate those images with parents who pop their kids on the behind every once in a while is insulting, to say the least. But that's the dishonest tactic the anti-spankers use. Of course, many anti-spankers may sincerely believe that any physical punishment of children is physical assault, but that just makes me question their judgment.
Spanking isn't abuse; it's a method of discipline that children need to become productive, responsible adults. Children are not the equal of adults, a fact some anti-spankers tend to forget. Children are rightfully under the authority of adults because their understanding of life is not fully developed. Children don't know what is best for them but will do whatever is appealing regardless of the consequences. In fact, they lack the life experience to fully understand the concept of consequences, especially long term consequences. As the Bible so accurately puts it, "Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child but the rod of correction will drive it from him." I think the extent to which someone believes this proverb determines whether he's pro or anti-spanking.
I don't believe that parents have to spank their children to raise them properly. I just believe that parents who do shouldn't be condemned for it. I feel that pro-spanking people--parents and non-parents alike--are by far the more tolerant side of this debate. They aren't the ones accusing people of being abusers and assaulters; they aren't the ones demanding that the state force their views on others through force of law.
If you don't want to spank your child then don't. If you believe that spanking is an effective tool in an overall discipline strategy then use it and don't sweat what the anti-spankers say. Fight all attempst to outlaw spanking; that's an egregious assault on parents' rights to raise their children as they see fit. Yes, some people will make decisions for their kids that other people don't like but unless those decisions are abusive government--and activists of all kinds--has absolutely NO right to interfere. So I say spank if you feel it's right, don't if you don't, and live and let live. That's a lesson in tolerance children can really use.
While surging blogs on BlogExplosion several months ago I came across an anti-spanking blog. I briefly perused the site and was going to leave a comment when I saw that comments had been disabled by the author due to unpleasant remarks left by spanker who "tend to be an angry lot". I lost all interest in the blog right then and there. To accuse adults who spank children of being somehow abnormally angry is the kind of self-righteousness that I often see in anti-spankers.
As you've probably guessed I'm pro-spanking, i.e. I believe that parents who want to spank their children should be allowed to withtout judgement and definitely withou interfernce from the state. I even believe that day care workers should be allowed to spank children with parental permission. I know I just ticked off half the universe with that opinion. People, especially the anti-spankers, can get really emotional on this issue. So let me explain why I believe spanking is ok.
The main reason I'm pro-spanking is because I was spanked as a child and I turned out alright. No, I don't think that everything that happens to someone in childhood should be mindlessly accepted and repeated. I certainly believe in subjecting one's upbringing to a critical review. However, I was spanked as a child and I'm ok. As hard as it may be for the anti-spankers to believe I'm not a child abuser, domestic abuser, violent criminal or depressed psychotic in spite of the fact that my mother whipped my tush when I needed it. The idea that spanking teaches violence is one of the anti-spankers' favorite arguments against physical punishment but I've never seen that connection in real life.
Sure, there are murderers and other violent criminals who were spanked as kids but there are also countless hardworking, law-abiding, and decent people who are loving spouses and parents who were also spanked as kids. Somehow their existence doesn't register on the anti-spankers' radar screens. Let's be honest here. It takes a combination of many different influences to make someone an habitually violent person. To say that spanking is the decisive factor is a little too pat for me.
Part of the problem is that anti-spanking activists tend to conflate spanking with abuse. The blog mentioned above claimed it was dedicated to protecting children from "physical assault". That's a loaded statement. The term "assault" conjures up dire images in the minds of most people. The effort to equate those images with parents who pop their kids on the behind every once in a while is insulting, to say the least. But that's the dishonest tactic the anti-spankers use. Of course, many anti-spankers may sincerely believe that any physical punishment of children is physical assault, but that just makes me question their judgment.
Spanking isn't abuse; it's a method of discipline that children need to become productive, responsible adults. Children are not the equal of adults, a fact some anti-spankers tend to forget. Children are rightfully under the authority of adults because their understanding of life is not fully developed. Children don't know what is best for them but will do whatever is appealing regardless of the consequences. In fact, they lack the life experience to fully understand the concept of consequences, especially long term consequences. As the Bible so accurately puts it, "Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child but the rod of correction will drive it from him." I think the extent to which someone believes this proverb determines whether he's pro or anti-spanking.
I don't believe that parents have to spank their children to raise them properly. I just believe that parents who do shouldn't be condemned for it. I feel that pro-spanking people--parents and non-parents alike--are by far the more tolerant side of this debate. They aren't the ones accusing people of being abusers and assaulters; they aren't the ones demanding that the state force their views on others through force of law.
If you don't want to spank your child then don't. If you believe that spanking is an effective tool in an overall discipline strategy then use it and don't sweat what the anti-spankers say. Fight all attempst to outlaw spanking; that's an egregious assault on parents' rights to raise their children as they see fit. Yes, some people will make decisions for their kids that other people don't like but unless those decisions are abusive government--and activists of all kinds--has absolutely NO right to interfere. So I say spank if you feel it's right, don't if you don't, and live and let live. That's a lesson in tolerance children can really use.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
